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We've been friends for over two decades, a person who's faced and conquered several challenges, and I respect her for that. But, she has been constantly blindsided in relationships. Her partner left her, which came as an unexpected event. Several of her social circle disappeared then, as they were drawn to the spouse. She was stunned by her. She made increased attention in our friendship, likely grasped more clearly the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

Throughout this period, several close to her have disappeared leaving her knowing the cause. Her previous job turned on her, despite the fact that she was an excellent employee, she departed not understanding why things shifted.

Present Situation

In recent times, we have each retired so we're spending each other more, yet I realize my position between us feels one-sided. I start subjects only for her to redirect the talk toward things she cares about. In terms of politics, she has firm beliefs. My effort is to recommend verifying facts and different perspectives.

She is organizing a trip to a nation I have traveled to on several occasions and resided in for some time. My intention was to offer advice, but this was met with resistance. She really solely sought my agreement with her plans. I recently come back from 30 days in that place and she wants to meet, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I don't want in this role who cuts and runs without a word, yet I doubt she can understand the consequences of how she acts on how I feel about myself. Currently, my state is distancing myself. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

One option is to cut and run, yet this is rarely the easy answer that we desire. Yet having a direct talk aiming for working things out demands strength and willingness from both people.

Experts suggest applying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step requires explaining how things go in your conversations. This needs to be objective and clear like what a recording device would replay. Next is to express her how it leaves you feeling. Ideally, there's no argument on this point. Your feelings are valid, after all. The third step is to question how you are both going to change the dynamics of your friendship."

Keep in mind your friend holds perspectives, so you need to remain ready to hear that. A helpful technique involves stating to the other person:

"Now you talk and I promise to remain silent for 30 minutes."

It's remarkably successful in fostering better communication.

Final Thoughts

She may dismiss everything, for those who have a “survival narrative”: they maintain a story regarding their experiences they're unable to release because their very survival depends upon it and it's all they trust. This is difficult as there is no clear path here, mere obstacles. Yet she could at first react like this then consider on your words. And should a resolution isn't found a fix, you'll have closure from having been truthful.